Monday, December 5, 2016

The gift of life

The Gift of Life

Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to be alive.   Since my suicide attempt, I have experienced so many different emotions.  I was happy to be alive, I’ve been depressed, felt guilt for attempting, and guilt for surviving.

During the last seven years, I have been proactive in suicide prevention, and the last three years I have been open and honest about my attempt and my lived experience. My experience  has also brought out so many different emotions from fear of being judged to such great relief that it was no longer a secret. I am working on being open about my lived experience whenever I am given the opportunity. This isn’t easy for an introvert, but I hope that sharing my story may help save someone’s life.

Last Monday I started a new chapter in my life; I became a grandfather. This experience is so amazing, and I can’t even begin to explain the feeling. I have a joy that is intense.

While holding my granddaughter  yesterday, I was overwhelmed with happiness and this very thought came over me: I didn’t die from my attempt,  I chose to live. Even though it was tough, I not only saved my life, but I also saved the life of my children and my grandchild.

This has further increased my motivation to work in suicide prevention. Each life we can save helps save an additional life. We get to save a life we don’t even know about yet. This very thought makes me happy. Please join me and help continue to share the gift of life.


  1. I am so glad that you lived Rick. I sometimes feel guilty that I didn't see the signs, but I was going through grieving intensively. Both you and Mathias were God's gift to us. I didn't get the chance to completely pull off my attempt as Dr. Wheeler caught it. Then that night while I was in the suicide watch room, a nurse came and told me that Mathias had been punched in the cheek and was in the ER. I begged to go to him and finally it was arranged and as I looked at Mathias, I realized how important you two were in my life. I knew God had intervened and saved me from taking my life and I am so grateful for him. You totally amaze me in your compassion for zero suicides. I hope we can work side by side on some projects. Thank you Rick for being the great man you are.

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